It was night, I don't know how I knew it was night, I just did. I was in a dark, dark basement. There were no windows. There was a door up a short flight of stairs. But, it was sealed without a ribbon of light stealing around the edges or under the bottom of it. No light, not even a promise of light for this room.
It was not too hot, nor was it too cold in this room. But, it was dark and I was alone. It was where I lived. It was my home. It was where I belonged.
I was sadness. Note I say I was saddness, not that I felt sadness. Sadness was the texture of my skin, hair and nails. It was the breath expelled from my lungs, sadness was the blood coursing through my veins. Yet, somewhere deep inside the gloom and sadness there was a kernel of desire for.... something. Something, SOMETHING!!! I wanted something besides sadness wrapped in darkness. I wanted...... what?
There was a tremor, a very slight vibration in the floor under my feet, in the walls and ceiling surrounding me. Far above me I heard a faint noise. Gradually, oh so gradually it grew louder. Dust started to seep down from the ceiling. It fell on my upturned face. I touched my cheek and for the first time I felt something besides sadness, I felt the glimmer of fear.
The noise grew louder and louder! I ran to the far side of the room and crouched down on my heels. The noise kept coming and coming, rushing over me with a loud consuming roar. I covered my head with my hands, trying to shield it from the falling pebbles. My forearms were shoved against my ears trying to protect them from the ungodly roar.
As the roar grew louder and louder , the building started shaking harder and harder. The pebbles became stones and the stones became huge chunks of cement. They rained down on me, striking me on top of the head. I felt the excruciating pain as my skull was fractured. My eyes burned from the blood streaming into them from the opened wound that had been my head.
I was knocked flat onto my stomach. As the chunks of the building landed on me I felt vertebrae being crushed, my ribs were broken into sharp daggers that pierced my heart, lungs, liver and spleen. The breathe was crushed from my body and blood spewed from my lips. I tried to take a breath and blood closed my throat. I felt sadness, fear and pain. And death crowed in triumph!
The debris gave a groan and I felt the weight of the building lift from my broken body. I sucked in a life giving breath of air. How could this be? It was not possible to live through something like this . What was happening? I felt sadness, fear, pain and confusion.
I pulled myself up off of the floor of that destroyed building onto my hands and knees. I raised one hand to scrub the blood and filth from my eyes and gazed at the far side of the room. A coruscation of white, blinding light hit me in face. I blinked and covered my eyes, with my forearm. From the direction of the light, a man called my name. I closed my left eye and looked through the tiny gaps between the fingers of my right hand with my other eye.
I saw the silhouette of a man standing just outside that destroyed building with his arms raised up over his head lifting it off of me. "Come on, _ _ _ _ _ _ , I have it. Just crawl on out of there." He said it like it was nothing to pick a collapsed building up off of a dying person and for that person to just crawl out without even a bruise. For a crushed skull, a crushed body to be healed in a blink of an eye. Sadness was gone. Pain was gone. But, fear and confusion reigned!
Who was this man? How could he expect me, a creature that had been covered by/ hidden in darkness for so long to just crawl out from that killing burden into the light? No, no! I was afraid!!!! I knew the darkness. I knew death. I was comfortable with that. I did not know the light. I did not know what was out there. My eyes did not understand light, only darkness.
He laughed, not a mean laugh, but a soft kind laugh. He adjusted his hold on the building and stepped forward with his left foot and ducked his head under the rubble. He reached his left hand toward me,
Light radiated off of him and lit the inside of my grave. He was smiling at me. His eyes gleamed with laughter, joy, yes, even love. He wore a red and black flannel shirt, blue jeans, black work boots and a tool belt. "It's okay, _ _ _ _ _ _. I have you. I will help you, just give me your hand."
Could I? Could I take the chance on the unknown? Could I reach out to Him? Could I move out of the darkness and let the kernel of hope grow to fruition? Could I trust His promise of help? I knew how to die in darkness, could I learn how to live in the light? I reached out my hand.
I woke up. Strange dream. I truly felt the pain of being crushed. I tasted the blood. But there was no blood. I had not bitten the inside of my mouth. No sinus bleed. No back, stomach, head, arm or leg pain. Hmmmmm. No fear, no sadness, no confusion. But, I did feel joy.
Last edited by mmamom; Today at 02:07 AM.. Reason: spelling
Dream I had years ago
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