180 grain vs 200 grain??

I'm stocking up on ammo for my 357 mag and I wanted to grab a few boxes of the heavyweight stuff just for variety, I wanted some hard cast wide flat nose ammo and some XTP hollow points. Well I'm finding the same exact bullets sometimes but one will be 180gr and one will be 200gr. I'm trying to figure out the pros & cons by reading all the customer reviews but in the 180gr reviews people point out that they travel faster than 200gr, and in the 200gr reviews it's pointed out that it's heavier than 180gr. So...one moves a little faster yet is a little lighter and one is a little heavier but a little slower, is that a wash??

I was always under the assumption that higher grain is more power, but now that I think about it if the 180gr moves faster can it be possible that the power is the same? Hell let's even throw in an identical 158gr bullet since that will move faster than 180gr. And how about recoil factor? And muzzle flash? I don't know which one to order. Both will be fine I'm sure but I'd like to fully understand the pros & cons, can someone explain? Also, all things being equal in bullet design, do the 158gr vs 180gr vs 200gr differ in penetration vs expansion?

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180 grain vs 200 grain??