I am FURIOUS with my parents right now. I am 41, they are 75 and 73. I called my mother this evening to say hello, only to find out that they just returned from the hospital. My dad's blood pressure dropped or spiked (it wasn't clear which bc I wasn't given the whole story) which they believed warranted a trip to the hospital. Mom decided not to call and tell me because she didn't want to "upset me." It turned out to be fine. HOWEVER. This is not the first time this had happened. I am furious.
Their POV: they don't want me to be upset, drive 1 hour (seriously? 1 hr? I used to live 2 states away, I could give a **** about driving 1 hr), they don't want me to come sit at the hospital with them for what might turn out to be nothing.
My POV: of course I will worry. I will probably come hang out at the hospital and give support. What REALLY makes me mad: deciding not to call me and let me know what is happening. My train of thought - what if this is the time that SOMETHING happens? How dare you deprive me the opportunity to see my parent before something does happen bc you think I'm 12 and "don't want to upset me"? Are you ****ing kidding me? How do you think I will feel when you call and say, ______ has died. We have been at the hospital for the last 6 hours and you could have been here, but I didn't want to upset you. Are you kidding me? I am so angry right now.
I don't want them to make that choice for me. You call me, you tell me what's going on. Dammit!
When My mother told me this, I could barely speak I was so mad. She started her "please don't be mad at me" speech. Normally this is when I start to lecture her/him about X. This time, I did not. I was very proud of myself. I simply said, "I'm glad he's ok, and I am going to refrain from comment at this time." I said goodbye and hung up. A few minutes later, she texts me and says again, "please don't me mad at me." I said, "I do not want to talk about this tonight. I am afraid that I will say something out of anger. I love you and goodnight." I then called my dad to check on him, and he tried to tell me not to be mad at my mother. I repeated the exact same thing to him. I think I did good.
But Dammit. If one of them dies in a hospital and I find out 6 hrs later because they "didn't want to upset me," I will be devastated and so angry I don't know what I would do. The absolute worst part about it is that there's not a ****ing thing I can do about it. It's upsetting, hurtful, disappointing, and right now it feels like a betrayal for lack of a better word. UGH. I'm not ready to be the parent yet dammit!!!
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**Ladie Section** March Rants
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