Why Can't Banks Have Two Lines?

It's Friday and I go to the bank to deposit a computer generated check issued by a national bank. Unfortunately, I had to deposit the check in person as the issuing bank required the depositor present two forms of ID in person.

When I arrive in the lobby, there are two tellers working (on a Friday!) and two young men in line in front of me.

Young Man# 1 wants to know how much is in his account, what the minimum amount of money he needs to keep his account open and to withdraw the difference. Unfortunately, he only has his expired drivers licence because his cousin took his current licence by accident and is now in another state.

Young Man# 2 wants to cash a personal check from his grandmama who does not have an account with the bank and he wants the proceeds in a certain denomination and coinage.

This goes on for 10 minutes of discussion, laughter, insistence, pleading and escalations to managers all while I, and a growing line of patrons behind me, shift from foot to tapping foot all while glancing at each other with rolling eyes.

Another bank employee comes in the bank, but disappears into the Employees Only door and never returns. A bank employee in an office stands from behind her desk, looks at the line, goes back in her office and shuts the door.

Meanwhile, the tellers are trying to assist each other with the two difficult transactions all while talking to the two young men. Phone calls are made to other banks, computer keys clicked and bits of paper shuffled back in forth. In the meantime, depositors in the drive thru lane are stacking up.

Finally, some bright bulb shifts both troublesome young men to one line and asks for the remaining customers to move forward and conduct their business.

My transaction takes 45 seconds as my ID are current and match my check. Which begs the question: Since I am always behind The Story at the bank, why can't the bank have an Express Lane like the grocery store?

A little sign above the lane that states:
Current ID only
Exact Change
No personal checks
Deposits and withdraws only
No third party checks, no new account opens, bank customers only

I can dream. Share your bank horror story.

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Why Can't Banks Have Two Lines?