My motivation confession

Since the pandemic hit in March, I've been prepping at an accelerated pace.
Been swinging a hammer every weekend and after work, building chicken coops, rabbit hutches and storage shelving. Taking on new skills like home canning. Buying $$$ worth of guns, ammo, food, etc. Following up on all of those projects that I always intended to do, but never got around to complete.

Thankfully, I and my family are in much better shape than we were pre-Covid, and I'm starting to feel some of the anxiety wane.

But a couple of thing occurred to me in this flurry of activity:

1. I've been hedging my bets - in the years since I started prepping (maybe since 1998, in earnest), I've tried to strike a balance between not spending too much, yet still being prepared. The voice in my head has always said: "You know, this may not happen after all, so why spend all of the time and money".

Now I've realized that this attitude is total bulls***. You're either in or your out. Karate do or Karate Don't. Save your money and enjoy your luxuries and perish when TSHTF or prep. The middle ground is just a waste of time and money.

2. All of the tropes are REAL. For years, I've heard things like:
"When TSHTF, you won't be able to travel"
"The supply chain will break down"
"Your friendly neighbors will become predators"
"Martial law will be enacted"
"Cities will become death traps"

To my surprise, I've seen ALL of these things become reality on some level. And if the situation was worse, all of these things will manifest in a much more pronounced way.
I took these things as the stuff of fiction before. No longer.
Have to admit: I'm still quite surprised by this. Almost like watching a prophecy come true.

3. My main motivation is SHAME - And maybe this just applies to me, but most of what motivated me in the past 5 months is the fear of letting everyone down because I had the opportunity and passed it up. I make a pretty good living. I'm fairly strong for my age. I have decent skills. I have half of the preps I need to make it through hard times.
Basically, I don't want to be the loser who lost his life or worse - saw his family suffer because I sat on my a** instead of following through.

Anyway. I find it a bit strange, the things that motivate.
Thought I'd spill my guts just in case it connects to someone out there. Hopefully it will push some past complacency.
Godspeed.

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My motivation confession