Advice on self defense flashlight needed

I have registered on the candlepower forums in order to ask this very question, but the censor had erased my post before I could get any answers, because I was talking about self defense in a way that is "not allowed".
Hoping to have better luck here...

Let me just start off by saying, that I do have a bit of a background in weapons (kali sticks and edged weapons) as well as some "dirty MMA" training through Jeet Kune Do and I do understand body mechanics.

To be honest I never before considered using a flashlight as a serious weapon, but after holding one of the "tactical" lights in my hand, I realized there is definitely potential in using one, especially the kind with beveled or serrated edge around the head.
What is appealing to me is the flashlights "non weapon" status and as far as I know it is not illegal to carry one around...yet.
I have conducted a series of experiments with the high powered light's advertised "shock" value, as far as "stunning" the would be attacker and concluded, that it would only work for a fraction of a second.
This is fine in a situation where you already know that altercation is inevitable, but if you still need to identify the threat, it is pretty much useless, as the annoyed attacker will most likely take a swing at the source of light.
This could be a big problem if he is carrying a weapon, for example a knife.
I won't even touch the "strobe" mode, which is supposed to "confuse" the bad guy...let's just say that unless your would be attacker suffers from epilepsy, this feature is pretty much useless...
Not to mention by the time you finish ****ing around with cycling the flashlight to the "strobe" mode, you are most likely already being attacked.

So I have decided to focus on the flashlights physical features instead.
I will try to make it as short as possible...first I would like to make a few observations and I will finish this rant with a question, so bare with me please...

I had picked up a "tactical" flashlight made by Bell & Howell as a gift for someone...but had to see if it works first.
This is when I first realized the "weapon" potential, as it had good weight to it and if I was holding it in my hand via reversed grip (hammer fist with the beveled head protruding from the bottom of my fist).
I'm pretty sure I could take off half of someones face via downward strike, or even via jab of sorts starting at the chest level and springing the bottom of my fist with protruding head forward.
You can try this for yourselves and you will be surprised just how hard and fast you can strike from this starting position multiple times under a second...

Now the criticism of construction...this applies to all the flashlights that employ the fancy “focus” feature by sliding the head part in or out, as opposed to twisting it.
In my opinion, this flimsy feature does not belong to a tactical flashlight, as not only it will go out of focus should you drop it, but most importantly upon striking the would be assailant, it will pinch the bottom part of my palm, should there be any gap.
This gap will be most likely created just by grabbing the flashlight in a stress situation, so either a twist focus or no focus at all is very important to me.

Now I will move onto the size.
I had also picked up a larger flashlight at Costco (made by Duracell), which I believe takes 3 C-cells and it is rather long and heavy.
At first I thought those will be excellent features, but upon unwrapping it I realized, that it is too heavy and clumsy to be used as a hammer-fist extension and if I used it as a baton or a stick of sorts, I'm robbing myself of being able to shread off the attackers face with the beveled edges at the tip of the flashlights head.
I prefer multiple, fast, precision devastating jab like strikes with the serrated end to the attackers face, than slower clumsy strikes to the head, which need to be initiated from some distance in order to build the kinetic energy needed (and therefore could be easily blocked if the attacker has any fighting experience).

So while the Costco flashlight is still useful at home in case power goes out, I need to get my hands on a flashlight that:

1) Has a twist focus or no focus at all.

2) Has very sturdy construction and good weight to it, but not too heavy either (as this would slow down the jabbing action).

3) Preferably takes common size batteries and not some very special ones that are hard to find (in case of the Zombie Apocalypse)

4) Has as much lumens as possible for the same reason (although as I had already mentioned above the lumens are not going to help much as far as giving me the edge should altercation take place, or even at preventing it...)

5) Is about 6-7 inches, so it fits comfortably inside my fist with the lamp protruding from bottom of my fist and the head with the tail-switch slightly protruding at the top (yes I would like a tail switch if possible).

6) Is somewhat water proof, or at least water resistant (back to the Zombies again)

I don't mind paying a top dollar for something that meets all of the above requirements, or at least most of them.
Would anyone be able to tell me if there is such a flashlight out there?

Thank you kindly in advance.

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Advice on self defense flashlight needed