me the deer the cops!

me the deer the cops!

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Boy howdy do I have something to tell ya all. I’m just spittin mad. This morning, the neighbor calls and tells me I have a dead deer in front of my drive way. So I call the 50 yr. old son to see if he wants it, while looking at it from the front window, well low and behold the deer raised its little head up and thrashes it around some. Well the son says oh heck no, I aint killin it there in front of the neighbors and all, I haven’t even got a huntin license. I’ll git in trouble for that. He says call the Sherriff. So I in my delusional mind call the sherriffs office and report the whole thing to them. They of course say, why yes ma’am well be there right away. So 45 minutes later I call em back and say, hey ya all want me to go out with the kitchen knife and slit it throat or stab it for ya, cause it’s still out there thrashin around. I don’t really want em to know I got a gun. Says they, Oh no ma’am, somebody’s on the way right now. I thank em like the good little citizen that I am. So 10 more minutes they actually show up. I walk down the driveway and speak to the man. He says he’ll take care of it and they have a person coming to pick up the deer for the meat. So I thank him and go back to my little house. The police officer drags the deer into the ditch and proceeds to take out his pistol and shoots the deer. Then the meat man shows up. They stand around and chat like a bunch of old women at a tea party. I go to the window and I can see the deers legs still thrashing around. WHAT! I get a mad on like you wouldn’t believe. My darling says go kill it yourself, he knew I was upset and gitten mad. I grab the 410 (it’s right by the door) and a slug, break it open, so they can see it ain’t loaded, and start marching down the driveway. Anybody in their right mind could tell I was freaking mad! And then I start screaming YOU WANT ME TO KILL IT FOR YA CAUSE IT AIN’T DEAD YET. Then the two idiots with mouths on their faces yells back, no ma’am its dead that’s just nerves jumping, you just turn around and go back in your house. That right there stops me I stand there gun in hand slug in the other for at least half a minute thinking, I suppose if I go down there with this gun the deer won’t be the only thing dead around here. So I about face thinking, I killed many a deer in my day and I never seen one jump around like that 10 minutes after it was shot, they aren’t like the frog legs in the frying pan that jump around a bit, the kids always liked that when they were little. Well sherriff man takes out his gun and shoots it again, cause like it wasn’t dead yet! It’s in the back of meat mans truck in 30 seconds or less and voila they’re both gone. I know I have never joined in any of the stuff ya’ll are talking about but I read ya every day. I just never had anything to say before. I just needed to tell this to somebody before I bust.

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me the deer the cops!