Life after marriage for men

(This will be written from a Christian perspective, so I respectfully request that those who reply do so from such a perspective too.)

I got married in 2016, and my wife & I are both believers.

All is well overall. Physical health. Financial stability (at least for now). Home. Car. Church. I honestly cannot complain and have many reasons to be grateful to God.

However, I've begun to wonder if in terms of a man's social life, "this is all that there is to it."

As a man in his mid-40s, I got married later than at least 95% of my friends/acquaintances; with very rare exceptions, everybody I went to college with was not only married but also had children by the time I got married. In fact, some of these folks (my age, a bit younger, a bit older) already have kids in high school. Add to this the men a few years younger/older than me whom I met at church in the past several years and with whom I formed friendships, whether one-on-one, in groups, or through small group ministries.

In other words, when I finally "cleaved unto my wife," I was one of the last to cross the finish line. I was already quite accustomed to the fact marriage saps a man's personal time - wife & children - and that the flexibility I and those other men experienced in our 20s and for much of our 30s were gone for good.

Still, I have wondered.

Is marriage a guaranteed social life killer or reducer for men?

I have asked this question to a number of married folks (including women, within a broader context of "losing friends"). The general consensus was that marriage, being a major and permanent (hopefully) life change, causes considerable adjustments which take time, but I was also told that friends who "disappear" because they married before you did will "reappear" in time.

I personally think that marriage and the demands of life understandably reduce energy and time, but I also believe that each individual can still maintain relationships in good standing if he/she is simply willing to do so. I have at least one good guy friend, also a Christian, who for the most part did not change insofar social availability was concerned after he got married. Even the birth of his child (for the most part) didn't affect how often we met (about once every 6-8 weeks).

In addition, my wife is fortunate in that she's got a few close GFs living very near us - some married with children, others single. And they get together at least 2-3 times a month.

The argument has been made to me that "women are more social and men are more individualistic." That may be true. And most do respond if I call or text; most do make time, even if we meet only on occasion. But I can think of a very small number of guys (who were extremely close to me in our younger years) who literally vanished after marriage. Perhaps 1 or 2 barbecues, a few dinners at first, and when the kids arrived, they might as well have relocated to Siberia. No responses to phone calls. No responses to texts.

I've brought this issue up to lady friends (to see if they had the same), and some did. A sister in the Lord told me some people simply have "mental blocks" and simply don't get that friendship is supposed to be a two-way street. My own wife said that these "friends" who don't respond and who give lip service to friendship but who are essentially out of my lives now don't know how to live balanced lives.

Oh well.

My rant/vent is over. If you married men have gone through this, I'd like to hear your feedback. And married women, if your husbands endured anything similar, your feedback is welcome as well.

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Life after marriage for men