My daughter just tried her best to kill me.

No, she didn't try to shoot, stab, poison, or blow me up.

She didn't try to run me over with my truck or my car...though she has already claimed my Challenger as hers when I die.

She did something even worse...

(No, she didn't bring a democrat home)

But she put FRENCH VANILLA CREAMER IN MY COFFEE!

Hay-soos Christos. The child tried to assassinate me by poisoning my coffee.

I like coffee flavored coffee. Either Dunkin Donuts Original or Chock Full O Nuts Original.

No stinkin Starbucks which is for hipsters and other people who hate God, but honest to goodness COFFEE flavored coffee.

Just a little regular creamer and a little sugar...or black...I don't care...but NO STINKIN FLAVORED CREAMERS!

Does anyone else feel my pain?

Let's block ads! (Why?)

My daughter just tried her best to kill me.